Healing.  The hurting and healing process actually began a long time ago.  It began the day we found out there was something wrong with our baby.  We were hurt.  And we continually healed, everyday.  We had to heal a little bit everyday in order to function — we had to go to work and church and hangout with our friends and family (aka — we had to socialize with other human beings!).  So we’ve been working on our healing throughout our journey because we were forced to in order to continue living our lives.

The healing that has been most evident to those participating in this journey with us is what has taken place since the passing of our baby.  We have done things, made things, read things, seen things, and felt things that I’ll document here, so you can see some of those “things” that have helped us on our healing journey.

Pictured below is an “Open House” we had for our friends to come and see us six days after AJ’s birth.  I set up a memory corner (on the right) of gifts we had been given, as well as mementos from the hospital.  On the left is a picture of our amazing friends that all begged to see the slideshow of Baby AJ (which you can see here).  Just as we cautioned in an earlier blogpost, we warned our friends as well — some of the images might be difficult to view.  {My friend Gloria told me that “the video will be hard for me to watch, but if this is your cross to bear, then I will sit right next to you and watch too.”  I can’t even describe how much that meant to me, and still means to me.}  Having (most of) our best friends in one place at one time was the perfect medicine.  We love them so much.

We have been given so many wonderful gifts of food (the best medicine!), keepsakes, cards, picture frames, flowers, wind chimes, necklaces (a few with AJ’s monogram), and many more items that we are inexplicably thankful for.  We received quite a few blankets for our baby that I wasn’t sure what I would do with once she passed.  I saved a few for, God-willing, our future children, but I used all of the blankets with AJ’s name on them to create one big blanket.  All of the credit for this blanket goes to my cousin Natala and Katie, owner of Sew Cute by Katie.  I get to snuggle with this blanket every night and that heals my heart.  (Thank you to everyone who gave us blankets that are now apart of this wonderful collage!)

Below are a couple of things that helped me “immortalize” my baby girl.  The plate on the left is a Louisville Stoneware original because every Louisville-born baby should have one; I have one, my brother has one, and lots of other people have them too.  The plate is her official birth record for me because a birth certificate was not issued in our case.  The monogram on the right labels AJ’s bin of goodies (other blankets, clothes, the breast pump, etc.) that needed a home.  Because I’m anally organized, I had to properly store her belongings, and what better display than a pink monogram!

The most healing part of our healing journey so far has undoubtedly been our trip to Belize.  We are forever indebted to the wonderfully kind individuals that helped make this trip possible.  It was unbelievably relaxing and was EXACTLY what we needed.

Last but not least (that I’ll share on the blog), is a picture of the memorial wheat for AJ’s 40 Day Memorial that was celebrated in Norwood, MA.  Charles’ Tete (grandmother) and two aunts prepared this beautiful tray for AJ (thank you SO much!).  In the Orthodox Church, Memorial Services to remember the departed are celebrated at three, nine and forty days, and then annually after that (there are some variations, but this is generally the custom).  While these special services are especially tough for me, we are extremely blessed to be a part of such a wonderful faith and community where everyone is praying for us and with us altogether.  We thank you for continued prayers and have so much love for all of you reading.

From goarch.com regarding Memorial Services in the Orthodox Church for the departed:

Death alters but does not destroy the bond of love and faith which exists among all the members of the Church. Orthodoxy believes that through our prayers, those “who have fallen asleep in the faith and the hope of the Resurrection” continue to have opportunity to grow closer to God. Therefore, the Church prays constantly for her members who have died in Christ. We place our trust in the love of God and the power of mutual love and forgiveness. We pray that God will forgive the sins of the faithful departed, and that He will receive them into the company of Saints in the heavenly Kingdom.

The Orthodox Church remembers the departed in the prayers of every Divine Liturgy. Besides this, there is a Memorial Service in which the Church also remembers the dead. According to tradition, the Memorial Service is offered on the third, ninth, and fortieth day after a death, as well as on the yearly anniversary of the death.  When the Memorial Service is offered, it is customary for the family of the deceased to bring a dish of boiled wheat to the Church. The boiled wheat is placed on a table in the center of the nave during the Service. The wheat, known as kollyva, is a symbol of the Resurrection. When speaking of the Resurrection, our Lord said: “Unless the grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies it bears much fruit.” (John 12:24)