It goes without saying that AJ’s mama is the most spectacular, inspirational and beautiful woman, with grace and courage that never ceases to amaze me. By sharing sweet Alexandra Jude’s story with the world, Brittany and Charles are a testament that God’s plan is better than our plan. He chose Brittany to carry this angel because of her strength and unwavering trust to rely on Him when it would be just as easy to blame Him. While I can talk about everything that makes AJ’s story so incredibly special forever, I’m here to talk about a different issue that is just as close to my heart as they are.

We (okay, fine, I) have been an open book about our journey through infertility. Trying to find the balance between sharing too much, keeping it professional in the work place, not wearing your friends and family out and attempting to keep your own mental state stable is exhausting. I commend those people that can go through all of this and not tell a single soul but for me, I’ve found solace in sharing our story and connecting with other women who understand the struggles and joys firsthand.

The last two years have been nothing short of an adventure in the family planning aspect of life. To best summarize, we’ve gone from the early days of why isn’t this happening? to the moment of realization that not having a child could actually be true to the most recent feelings that there may be a glimmer of hope that “science these days” could help fill our home and hearts. It got the point that every doctor appointment and every test result came back with worse news than the time before.

I believe I speak for any woman who has a baby shaped hole in their heart that is waiting for it to be filled when I say we didn’t choose this path. But He did. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11

I do not know how our journey will end or when it will end but I know the things I’ve learned along the way are part of God’s plan. One of the greatest blessings I’ve learned to appreciate is the ability to talk openly about my feelings, the absence I feel every day, our lab results, our doctor appointments, my constant medications and extreme side effects and know they are not falling on deaf ears. I feel comfortable sharing my journey because if I can help just one woman or one couple feel like they’re not alone, I’ve done enough. Speaking with women in the same boat helps me, too. We share information, we educate each other, we talk and we pray together.

To those that are on the receiving end of those tears and “why” questions with no answers, I hope you know we appreciate you. We (we being the tribe made up of women trying to conceive) don’t discuss our darkest days or hundreds of negative tests with you seeking attention or pity. We talk to you because your positive attitude, support and slight naivety are everything we need to not feel judged or broken.

Keep in mind I’m no success story, yet, but I’ve been on this rollercoaster for two years and if I could give any advice, it would be … Buckle up, honey. This won’t be a pretty or slow ride but in the end, it will be Wurt the Wait.

Love you Abdelahads, Jayme Wurtenberger